Friday, May 11, 2012


It's coming again this year, that day I dread. It comes every year, and every year I wonder if this will be the year it doesn't bother me, that I don't cry. The only time I even remotely look forward to Mother's Day is if I can be with my own mother, and make her day special. Again this year that won't be the case. I'm on the other side of the world. I recall so many times trying to choose just the right card in the store, only to feel the wetness on my cheeks. Embarrassed, I would usually leave before succeeding. Nowadays, I can send an e card. I even cry when I enlist the online florist shops into helping me out. Now I have a dear friend who as a ministry to me will go to the local florist and choose a beautiful bouquet for my mom and take it to her for me. I've been telling my mom for years that I wanted to give her the flowers while she was alive -that I didn't want to spend hundreds of dollars for huge sprays when she is gone from this earth. She'll get a bouquet from the local grocery store florist. Cut flowers bring her joy, so why not spend the money on her now? Mom thinks that idea is just fine. She hates for me to spend so much money for delivery, so she is thrilled that my friend is helping me. The ten dollar delivery charge goes a long way where I live.
I really don't like this day, and I don't like that I don't like it. I always try to focus on my mom, or relatives or friends celebrating their first child, like my nephew and his wife. I like to think of my friends becoming mothers after having loses, and friends becoming mothers through adoption. One friend just posted today about having spent her first 24 hours with her new daughter in Ethiopia. I truly am so happy for them, and so thankful to God for His blessings. Every year I manage to find others to be happy for, and stave off the pity party that invites me to join in. Well, most years. And I try to remember those moms who have lost children in the past year, or those who have lost their mothers. Perhpas they are dreading this day, too. But this is supposed to be about my mom, not me.
I put my mom through so much. She said I was a fussy baby after they moved to a new home when I was two. I've been a challenge, and have been the cause of many gray hairs on her beautiful head. There have been the trips to the emergency room for broken bones, and numerous scrapes and sunburns that she so gently cared for. I remember her coming into my room at night to put cream on my sunburned face. I know I am special because my mom has told me so all my life. When someone tells you that enough, you believe it. Now, I spend my time telling girls they are special, they are unique, and there is no one like them -just like my mom told me. I do this in a country where little girls are not valued as much as boys.  I teach moms to encourage their daughters to be all God wants them to be, to want God's best for them. He has a plan for their lives. My mom encouraged me, I want to encourage others.
My mom is still living and still with my dad. That is such a gift. She is beautiful. She is kind and thoughtful. She is a worrier. I hate that I still cause her worry after fifty something years. While she would rather me be on the same continent, she believes in what I am doing, and wants me to be where God wants me to be. She doesn't make me feel guilty about not being there, she just makes me feel wanted and loved. She is supportive.
She always remembers to send my dog gifts, too. She talks to him on Skype. He's my baby and she is an excellent grandma. She's never said hurtful things to me about not giving her grandchildren. She has loved on all the strays (the human kind) I bring home, and tolerated the animals. She loves on my godchildren even from a distance. I have never outgrown my need for or love for my mommy. There are times when just nothing else will do and I am so thankful for Skype. I make sure my mom knows  that I am safe, and that I love her, every chance I get.


1000 Moms Project


  1. You certainly have no reason to feel guilty. I am certain your mom is so proud of what her incredible daughter has done and is doing still. What more could you ask God for than a wonderful child who risks their life for living for Him and sharing His word with people across the world. She would love to have you closer to her and your dad but she also knows if given the chance to pull you home away from the mission field she would never choose that. As a parent do I fear the calling my children might have to serve Him in another country? Absolutely but I would also be very supportive and pray for His guidance and protection in their lives. We'll get to spend eternity in Heaven with each other, what time we have here is as vapor, we need to make the most of it and bring as many others with as we can.

  2. Thank you SO much for your kind words, Dennis. As you can see, I get very few comments. Thanks for the encouragement!